grimrose_eilwynn: (Default)
For Valentine's Day yesterday, I bought some Ghirardelli chocolates and went out to the movies with my sister and a friend. We were going to see Dead Pool. Perfect Valentine's Day movie, right?

I must admit, I didn't expect to like it. But I did. There was blood and violence everywhere, sexual jokes up the wazoo, and I still liked it.

The action was great, the romantic dynamic was perfect (they were perfect for each other - relationship goals), the main female character was both likable and interesting. The humor was genuinely funny. I think it was mostly in the delivery. Ryan Reynolds has always been funny, but here he really capitalized on that for the first time and that was fun to see.

I also liked the ending. For lots of reasons, but also because I liked how Dead Pool treated the main bad guy. I'm not going to spoil for anybody, but that was very satisfying.

I can definitely understand why it was rated R, though. Don't take your kids to see this movie. Don't be that douchebag who takes your kid to an R rated film, gets offended, and then ruins a potential sequel for everybody else.

I would watch a sequel. I would even buy this movie on DVD. I really liked it.

A lot of people are complaining that Dead Pool wasn't popular before this movie, but I kind of thought your favorite character becoming more popular was a good thing? Doesn't that lead to more movies, comics, and merchandise? My sister was always a huge Dead Pool fan, but I didn't really know much about him before watching the movie and now I'm a fan. Isn't that... a good thing?

I'm lost???

Anyway, I guess a lot of people are bothered by not having a date on Valentine's Day, but I'm not really one of those people. Relationships take effort, man, and I'm busy. I honestly had more fun with my friends than I probably would have on a date. Dates are nerve wracking and have expectations built into them. My ultimate dream is to find a guy funny and laid-back enough that I don't feel like he's putting expectations on me and like dates are a chore, but so far I have not found that guy yet.

Until then, my Valentine's Days are a friend zone. And I am happy that way.
grimrose_eilwynn: (Default)
Tonight for New Year's Eve, we'll have shepherd's pie for dinner, then red wine and a tray of cheese and salami with crackers. We'll watch the Dick Clark show, hosted by Ryan Seacrest, and see the ball drop in Times Square at midnight from the safety and comfort of the TV in our living room. The countdown is always so exciting!

No wild celebrations, just a quiet evening at home curled up with a glass of wine and my family, and that's the way I prefer it.

Here are 5 things I learned in 2015:

- You can't save people who don't want to be saved. I had a friend who got caught up in over drinking and partying. Over and over again, she continued to gravitate toward people who treated her like shit. She eventually dropped out of school and I never heard from her again. I think she was ashamed. I tried over and over again to help her associate with kinder people, and do fun activities that didn't involve getting drunk, but she wouldn't have any of it. Some people you just can't save.

- You can seem really close to someone, but the two of you can go down completely different paths in life and you may never see them again. That happens a lot at college age. But it shouldn’t keep you from making new friends.

- It’s never too late to change your life around and make it healthier. Health often leads to happiness.

- Not every date leads to instant romance -- even if it seems like the first date went really well.

- It is absolutely possible for a guy to be reasonable and treat you well, and you should expect that, and even demand it. EVEN and ESPECIALLY when it comes to sex.

(For more on my relationship goals and what I've learned to expect from a relationship this year, I refer you to this magnificent article:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/natasha-craig/6-phrases-more-important-_b_6679492.html?utm_hp_ref=women&ir=Women§ion=women&ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000046

Enjoy.)

And now here is my New Years resolution: to find my strong inner voice and to use it without guilt. I was inspired by this article. So much of it resonated with me:

www.huffingtonpost.com/sara-lindberg/why-my-new-years-resolution-is-to-gain_b_8881892.html?utm_hp_ref=women&ir=Women%3Futm_hp_ref%3Dwomen&ir=Women&ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000046

I remember the first time I was ever called bossy. I was in elementary school and it was cooking day, so me and my friends were making pancakes. Kids kept crowding around the cooking table and impeding our work, so I began shooing them back and getting them all in a straight line. I will never forget the way my friends treated me with complete disgust. "We're done," they said, emphasizing the 'done', and I remember this crippling feeling of shame sweeping through me. The way they looked at me was very cold. The sad thing is, it was other girls who made me feel that way.

I always see that as a kind of beginning, because ever since I have always felt guilt, hesitancy, and uncertainty whenever I get too opinionated, or say something that might upset someone -- even if it's the way I really think. All too often in my life, I have stayed silent, not wanting to create waves. In high school, I was so careful about ordering people around that in the photography class I took, a girl accused me of having "no vision" because I was terrified of ordering my models to do what I wanted them to do.

Well I'm done with all that! This year, I will try the perhaps long process of finding my inner voice and using it to voice my opinions and instructions without guilt. Now, keep in mind, speaking your mind doesn't necessarily mean you have to be rude. I'm not talking about deliberately hurting anyone's feelings. I'm simply saying that I'm tired of staying silent -- tired of being embarrassed -- and tired of caring what other people think about me!

I'm finished!

So this year that is my goal. And while I'm at it, here is a toast -- a toast to a strong new year, and a new beginning!

With Love,

Grimrose Eilwynn

PS: Enter this door, but be warned: you will not come out in the same condition as you were when you entered it.

grimrose_eilwynn: (Default)
Good recipe. Messy, but delicious, and as a plus, it's healthy! (The recipe is from "The Food Lovers: Make it Paleo" by Bill Staley and Hayley Mason, for those who are interested. There's some excellent explanations in there on what paleo eating is.) Here's what we made for Christmas dinner tonight:

- Rinse and slice 1 tomato into tiny slices and 1 onion into larger slices.

- Pull the stems off of 4 large portobello mushrooms. The recipe says to remove the gills, which we didn't understand at all. So I'm gonna modify: just keep the gills on. It's a lot easier. They won't kill ya. The main idea is to make sure the mushroom cap is flat.

- Put 1 pound of ground beef into a medium-sized bowl and combine it with 1 teaspoon each of garlic powder, onion powder, salt, and pepper. Mix until spices are evenly distributed.

- Preheat the grill to high heat and spray so the food doesn't stick.

- Grill the mushroom caps first -- 3 minutes per side. The recipe says just to grill the mushroom for 3 minutes period, but we found a double-sided cooking made the mushroom all the more delicious.

- Form the meat into four patties and grill the patties second -- 4 minutes per side. The recipe says 5, but we found 4 didn't burn the burgers or overcook them. It also says to grill the patties first, but we didn't listen to that because hello, cross contamination?

- Now here's how to eat all this. Put the mushroom cap flat on a plate, gill side up. On top of that, put lettuce and a tomato slice. On top of that, put the burger. And on top of that, put some onion. And voila!

Some notes:

The recipe said to grill the onion, but you don't have to. Onion can be eaten raw, and you don't want to cook onion, trust me. I tried it once when I was making a recipe a Japanese pen pal recommended to me -- even the dog was crying. And he was in another room!

You may be wondering: Where's the ketchup and mustard? Where's the bun? I was dubious at first myself, eating a burger without these seemingly essential ingredients. But actually? The recipe doesn't need them. It's delicious all on its own.

And once again, Merry Christmas!
grimrose_eilwynn: (Default)
Merry Christmas everyone!

Here's a list of the gifts I gave to other people:

- My boyfriend got a Cowboy Bebop coffee mug

- My best friend got Hunger Games jewelry and pins, and a 25-dollar Amazon gift card for her birthday

- Her husband got a basket of Russian and Ukrainian chocolates

- My mother, when she comes up for New Years, will get a winter vest and a stuffed elephant

- My father, when he comes up for New Years, will get some new gadgets for his iPhone and a funny little vampire bat Minion figurine

- My sister got a video game T shirt (she likes Comic Sans from Undertale)

And here's a list of the gifts I got from other people:

- Shitloads of new music (Adele’s “25”, Cage the Elephant’s “Tell Me I’m Pretty”, Mindless Self Indulgence’s “Pink” -- plus 65 more currently unused dollars in iTunes gift cards)

- a giant bottle of hazelnut syrup to put in my coffee

- a Harry Potter themed Hot Topic gift card (which I used to buy a new “I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up to No Good” Marauder’s Map Harry Potter backpack, and a big brown coffee mug that says “Coffee Makes Me Poop”)

- new clothes

- 150 dollars for clothes shopping

- 2 books: The Paying Guests by Sarah Waters, This Raging Light by Estelle Laure

- a black MCR (My Chemical Romance) sweater

- lots of Christmas cards from my Mom’s side of the family

On Christmas Eve, I Skype called my boyfriend, who was off visiting family in the Bay Area. He said we should get together and go out to dinner after he gets back -- and I agreed that sounds great, and said we could even go to a movie -- and then he said, "And maybe after the date we could go back to my place, and -- I mean, I've seen your place but you've never seen mine --"

We all know what "let's go back to my place after our date" means.

"Yes, I have seen your place," I said. "I saw it once when we went inside to get helmets and go out on your scooter."

"Yeah, but not for very long," he said hopefully. "Just -- can't we --?" He saw my face. "Okay, never mind," he muttered.

I was in a good mood, so I said, "Let's just go on the date, wait, and see how we do."

It's been a little over a month and he already wants me hanging out and spending the night at his place? This guy is so pushy. And he's so nice while he's doing it, but he's still so pushy. It's weird, that he considers himself a feminist.

Anyway, after that my sister and I got a giant pizza from the local deli and had pie with hot cocoa. I had warm milk. We turned off all the lights and watched A Christmas Carol with George C Scott, enjoying the lights and ornaments shining on our tiny little single apartment-sized Christmas tree.

We stayed up till midnight, just so we could stay up until Christmas hit.

Then on Christmas Day, we slept in and had a pajama day. Immediately upon waking, I texted my parents, best friend, and boyfriend a Merry Christmas.

My sister and I exchanged gifts, sitting around the tree and ripping off the wrapping paper and finding what we had gotten each other underneath. We were both so happy with our gifts. We hugged and said Merry Christmas. We joked that my wrapping job looked like a blind T Rex had done it.

Later, we're going to make a fancy dinner together -- home-made burgers, starting from scratch with a pound of ground beef, with salts and spices and portobello mushrooms. Yum!

What are you doing with your family and friends for Christmas? In any case, I hope you have a very Merry Christmas. May your cup always be full and your presents always be satisfying!

With Love,

Grimrose Eilwynn

In the spirit of the holiday season, here's a TED talk on the connection between happiness and gratefulness:

http://www.ted.com/talks/david_steindl_rast_want_to_be_happy_be_grateful?utm_campaign=&utm_medium=on.ted.com-static&utm_content=awesm-publisher&awesm=on.ted.com_gratefulness&utm_source=t.co
grimrose_eilwynn: (Default)
Thanksgiving was yesterday. Here's how I celebrated.

I got up earlier than usual (for a holiday) to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV with my sister. Then we went over to a friend's house to spend the day there.

I watched football and had some white wine. (I do allow myself the occasional beer or glass of wine on holidays.) We had dinner early: turkey, cranberry sauce, potatoes, stuffing, corn, rolls, and between everyone who brought extra food we had about eight pies for dessert. The stuffing was especially delicious, and it was nice eating dinner among a big group of people, even if it wasn't my family.

We sat around and watched America's Funniest Home Videos afterward. When I got home, more football.

So basically, it was a too-much-food-and-TV day. Truly American.

The family we had Thanksgiving with was the family of one of my sister's friends. They were nice to invite us over, but there were a lot of big personalities in that household and they were pretty mean to each other. It was interesting to watch. I was honestly more comfortable sitting at home with my sister.

Still, we got to have a Thanksgiving dinner with a big family and I should be grateful for that.

What am I thankful for? My whole life. Even the bad stuff. My family, my friends, my schooling, my privileged place in a global society... I am grateful for having a life, because the alternative is worse. As someone who has previously been suicidal, I have a special depth of gratefulness for everything good in my life and for my opportunity to keep healthy and to see those good things clearly.

So happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Birthday

Nov. 25th, 2015 02:24 pm
grimrose_eilwynn: (Default)
My 22nd birthday was November 24th!

I got lots of cool stuff from my family and friends. A coffee Christmas ornament, some new music, a manga volume, a faux Hogwarts letter, and the entire Smallville series on DVD.

My sister took me out to lunch and took me out shopping. I bought an Ed Sheeran T shirt from Hot Topic on her money. My entire Mom's side of the family (who I'm closer to) called to wish me a happy birthday, and I got lots of birthday wishes on Facebook.

My sister made me steak for dinner, and we also had apple pie. (I prefer pie over cake.)

There's crazy stuff going on in the world right now. The Syrian war against ISIS, the Paris terrorist attacks, and the tensions between Turkey and Russia because Turkey shot down a Russian war plane coming over its territory.

So my birthday wish, even though it sounds cheesy, is for peace to come to all parties and the world to all come together for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

As always, I thank the world for another year, and put myself in the hands of God.
grimrose_eilwynn: (Default)
It was dark and stormy on Halloween night, quite appropriate. Ducking against the rain, me and my sister ran out to a friend's car and hopped in. The group of us drove over to the bigger town next door, where we went to a little pizza parlor and bought ourself a pizza and some cheese bread.

After that, we went to theaters and saw the horror movie Crimson Peak.

It was beautifully set. Stunning visuals. There were a few good horror moments, but it felt more like a tragic drama than a horror movie, to be perfectly honest. Nothing wrong with tragic drama. It was still a great movie. But it didn't really have the usual horror movie vibe.

Oh, and Tom Hiddleston was really hot. Just saying.

One thing I thought was interesting was that the humans turned out to be the scary ones. The ghosts were the ones you ended up feeling sorry for. Kind of turning expectations on their heads there.

Guillermo del Toro said he wanted it to feel like the woman saved the man, rather than the man saving the woman. I didn't really get that feel from this movie. I mean, I guess technically Edith saved Thomas by being his One Twue Wuv, but he still ended up being the one trying to save her. Edith saved herself in the end, though, which I thought was nice. "I heard you the first time," was a great line. I loved the complex dynamic between Thomas's sister and Edith, and their conversations about the siblings' mother.

Now it's the day after Halloween, and I feel hung over even though I didn't drink. I guess Halloween just does that to you. I'm having a pajama day, snacking on leftover Milky Ways and Snickers Bars, doing homework and watching football.

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Hopeless Dreamer

March 2016

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